A Google gadget!!!

For those who use Google, or iGoogle as a home page on your pcs I have developed a little thing which can be added to your page. Known as a "gadget" these are little pieces of script which can be added to the iGoogle page and which will appear as part of your personalised Google page.

The gadget is known as "Seekers Thoughts" and can be found here . If you use iGoogle as your homepage on your pc you have the chance to add gadgets to personalise the look of your homepage.

Go to the link and click the add button and the seekers Gadget will be added automatically to your Google homepage.

We have included a mail link inside the gadget for anyone who wishes to send us a relevant "thought" that we can use.. any thoughts or stuff from others will of course be credited so make sure that you either wrote them yourself, or have permission etc..

Link to our sites...

For those of you who feel they would like to help promote what Seekers is about by linking to us, then i have a nice way to do it, provided you have access to the html code of any webpage where you might want to add a banner.

First off lets look at the banners I have made...

for Seekers





and also for Bound in Love



Now, to get a banner like that the easiest way is to copy the following code, and simply paste it into your site where you want the banner to appear


For the Seekers banner :

<img height="75" alt="" src="http://www.seekers.org.uk/Image4a.jpg" width="454" usemap="#Image4a" border="0" name="Image4a0" /><map name="Image4a">
<area shape="RECT" target="_blank" alt="Visit the Seekers' website" coords="5,2,454,75" href="http://www.seekers.org.uk">
</map>


and for the Bound in Love banner :

<img name="banner1000" src="http://www.boundinlove.co.uk/banner100.jpg" width="468" height="60" border="0" usemap="#banner100" alt="" /><map name="banner100">
<area shape="rect" coords="8,6,466,54" href="http://www.boundinlove.co.uk" target="_blank" alt="Bound In Love. D/s poetry created especially for you">
</map>



I hope that some of you will feel it's worthwhile promoting Seekers and our other sites.

Over the next few weeks I am going to create similar banners for Safecall and such, and will provide all the coding on one page within the Seekers site.

Regards

MG

Learning to Kneel..again

Submissives find many and varied ways to express submission, although one of the most common seems to be that of kneeling before a Dominant. This simple act places the sub at a lower level than the Dominant and represents her being controlled and dominated by Him, by the very nature of their relative physical positions.

When my cleo had her stroke in November 2005, one of the long-term effects was what is known as hemiplegia. "Whats that?" you ask. Hemiplegia is a condition where a vertical half of a patient's body is weak or paralysed, i.e. one arm and its corresponding leg do not function properly. In cleo's case this has resulted in virtually no function at all remaining in her left arm and hand, and just a little in her left leg. She can walk a little, although she is very unstable, but has had to adapt to using one arm/hand as she has no voluntary control in her left arm at all. Her balance is not too good at all, and as soon as she turns, or leans, or bends away from an upright position that loss of balance is all too obvious.

Now, one of the things which had become almost a daily ritual for us before the stroke was that cleo would invariably kneel for me, usually before we retired in the evening. We spent many long hours like that, discussing our D/s, our plans and our hopes for the future.

It was one of those actions which I know gave cleo a way to fulfill her need to demonstrate her submission to me. It was a natural and comfortable position for both of us. Since the stroke and because of her physical challenges as a result kneeling has been virtually impossible. We have tried to find alternative ways to express submission for cleo but none that we have tried gives her the same satisfaction as the act of kneeling.

Of late as her balance has improved slightly, and she has a little more control in her left leg, she has managed to find a way to get back on her knees again, if only for very short periods of time. I know that there is nothing else which comes close to the act of kneeling for cleo at least, that enables her to express her submission in such a tangible way. From the kneeling we may be able to move to other more "physical" things, such as cleo going over the knee or some kind of mild spanking. The physical closeness which kneeling creates becomes a springboard for those other actions to follow naturally, although of course with great care.

So, perhaps we can return to that most fulfilling of submissive expression again, by allowing cleo to get back to kneeling before bed again.

Perhaps it's the first (or next?) step in our regaining of the more physical side of the relationship we had. Recovery from stroke is by definition a long and very slow process and sometimes we have to look for a way to measure that, because living with the challenges every day, one does not always see those improvements. Sometimes you really have to look hard, or you miss them entirely.

Bound In Love: D/s poetry

Those of you who have followed Seekers in its various guises over the years will know that I have a passion for writing poetry. The Gift a poem site which i launched a while back aimed at creating specially written poetry for people has had a few orders, and reaction has been good.

I have thought recently though, that we should offer a similar thing but with a true D/s and adult slant, and hence a new site Bound In love . Similar in the way it works to Gift a Poem this one though is aimed very much at D/s Lifestylers. Think of all those special D/s moments that a really unique gift could commemorate: collarings, handfastings, gifts from Master to sub, or sub to Master. The possibilities are endless, and I will be only too pleased to write a unique poem to mark whatever occasion you might wish to record. Contact me through the site or through any of the seekers addresses, I will be happy to see what I can do.

The Drug that is D/s.

There are thousands of web pages written about D/s. Many explain what it is, how to conduct oneself, techniques, methods, and protocols. Others give us the opportunity to meet others of a like mind and exchange views and ideas in chat rooms and forums. These pages are all designed to help each of us to conduct our D/s in an informed and safe way. Every page or article has its merits, even those we don’t agree with.I have seen very few articles which attempt to explain the “nature” of D/s and how, once we have experienced some form of D/s or BDSM, it becomes very difficult to walk away and never go back.

In many ways D/s is like a drug, and a very addictive one at that: once you have experienced it you will find you need more and more, you need to feed the habit. Most people have an inherently addictive nature; that is, having experienced something we enjoy or which satisfies a need that we have (either mental, physical, or both) we find we must return to that continually to satisfy the continual demand which we have created within ourselves for that. Most people’s first experience of D/s (or BDSM) can be very much “on the surface” and will often be couched in terms of “kinky sex”: maybe some bondage, or spanking.

Quite often these activities might be regarded as simply an extension of our sexual gratification, ways to add a little spice to what might have become a little stale and “always the same”. Of course there is nothing wrong with this and indeed many people never take their BDSM any further than that. Their needs are satisfied in those ways, although we should see that their needs are that: a requirement for the additional experiences created by the physical and mental stimulation obtained by participation in D/s and BDSM activities.

From those first almost furtive moments when we might try some bondage or spanking there are many for whom the sudden realisation of the incredible mental and physical possibilities available to us through D/s becomes abundantly clear.At first we may be embarrassed to admit our likes and enjoyment of these activities even to our partner. Sometimes of course the partner with whom we take these first steps may not share the same conviction as ourselves: that D/s is something we need or want. For many this of course can lead to a relationship crisis because if one partner wants some form of D/s or BDSM in their lives, and the other does not, suddenly we find we are looking outside the relationship for that fulfilment.

This is going to be, in many cases at least a recipe for long term disaster within a relationship. During these first experiments with D/s many couples find that each has a preference for a particular role within the relationship: either Dominant or submissive. By nature people are either more dominant or more submissive and that dominance of one may well complement the submissiveness of the other.This of course is what defines many D/s relationships: a meeting of a dominant and a submissive nature thus creating a mutually rewarding partnership from which both parties get some kind of fulfilment. At this point having discovered that we are either Dominant or submissive we can begin to delve deeper into our needs and wants, thereby further enhancing these experiences, getting more and more from what we do as we learn to tailor these activities to better satisfy the needs of ourselves and our partners.

Many people believe at first that they are the only ones who have discovered these “odd” desires. They find it extremely awkward to talk about them, even to each other, although over time and especially within a healthy D/s relationship communication becomes a major and vital role in further expressing our continued desires and enables us and our partners to achieve that mutuality upon which all good relationships are based.Having accepted the role within a relationship of either the dominant or submissive, of controlling or being controlled (to a lesser or greater degree depending on the relationship) it can be as if a great weight has been lifted from the shoulders of both parties.

For those who are naturally D/s allowing free reign to these qualities can be so rewarding that once found one often wonders how we ever managed without this in our lives. As we all know, activities of any kind are controlled by the brain, whether they be voluntary or involuntary. At the simplest level this may be explained by a series of chemical changes which happen either before during or after certain actions or as a result of other activities. Take as an example the release of endorphins. Endorphins are naturally occurring substances within the brain which are similar in their chemical makeup to pain killers like morphine.Endorphins are very powerful painkillers (sometimes thought to be 10,000 times more powerful than morphine).

When, within our BDSM activities we create pain the body produces endorphins as a result. As well as nullifying the effect of pain endorphins create a “high” within us which, depending upon how intense the stimulation is and for how long, can be pleasant and which we will subsequently associate with pleasure and good experiences. It is worth remembering at this point that there are two kinds of “pain”: we refer to these as “pain pain” and “pleasure pain”. The first can be thought of as simply the nasty effect of hitting the thumb with a hammer – it bloody hurts! The second, and that which we are more concerned with here, is the pain which goes hand in hand with the erotic interchange of D/s: spanking, clamping, flogging etc.Although this pain may well be as intense as the “pain pain” from the hammer the environment and situation within which it is created is entirely different.

In most cases (and in my view it should be all) the infliction of this pain should be consensual i.e. “I agree to you doing this to me within the boundaries that we have set and I reserve the right to call an unconditional halt at any time should I feel uncomfortable with it”. [Note: The idea expounded here is that of a "safeword": the use of a pre arranged signal between parties which calls a halt to any activity as a result of some problem, whether actual or perceived. This of course is something which should always be (in my view) maintained within the Safe, Sane and Consensual aspects of what we undertake within a D/s or BDSM relationship. It also should be remembered that a dominant can use a safeword too].

That last statement of course takes the view from a submissive’s perspective. It should be remembered also that the dominant can become “uncomfortable” too, with signs or signals they might receive from the submissive (body language). Many subs feel they have failed if they “safe out” and will often endure “pain pain” rather than use a safeword.

It therefore becomes a major responsibility of the Dominant to be aware of these hidden signals and to call a halt to activities if that is the case.The perspective of the Dominant may be summed up by the statement: “I agree to do this to you within the boundaries we have set but I reserve the right to stop if I am uncomfortable with what I am doing, seeing, to or from the submissive”.

Continuing the drug analogy, most people who have a habit of any kind usually start small and find their need for a fix grows over time.Once the habit is established regular fixes are required to stop the onset of withdrawal (cold turkey). Similarly in D/s the effects of both mental and physical activities become, in a sense, “habit forming”. We seek them out more and more and as time passes they become more intense too, thus enabling the body to attain the endorphin high which is produced as a result.

The need to increase the activity level can be likened to the effect of becoming immune to a drug: take the same dose over a period of time and the effects are less and less as the body becomes used to it. To continue gaining the desired effect we often need to step up the dose.

This fits very well with the observation that within a D/s relationship we must continually try new things in an attempt to deepen the intensity and experience which we gain from it. As well as these very obvious physical effects we should never forget the “mental” aspects of D/s. By their very nature those who are either Dominant or submissive have needs which they have admitted must be satisfied. For a Dominant there is the need to control, to take responsibility and to make decisions. For the submissive it is the need to serve, to please, and to relinquish control and decision making to another.

Because each is comfortable with that chosen position when that position is changed: that is if the relationship breaks down, and for example the submissive has to start making their own decisions again a basic need is not being met and the result will often be unhappiness apprehension, and even fear, all of which can be associated closely with the mental and physical manifestations of drug withdrawal symptoms.

While my analogy is a simple one I hope it helps to define a little better how a D/s relationship might work. Of course in human relationships nothing is ever simple, and many factors are always dependent upon a multitude of other things, but in essence, and in my experience D/s relationships are habit forming, and once you have been there it is very hard to walk away without a need to return for more.

find this article on the seekers site in the general D/s section. click here

Welcome to the Seekers Blog!

This blog and its content is designed as a pointer to the D/s seekers website, a D/s lifestyle resource which contains some 250 pages of resource and information that has been created over some 5 years.

The idea here is to be able to add articles of interest, and through the ability of modern blogs and more powerful website design, to enable readers to be updated on new items and pieces thathave been added to the website, as well as contributions and comments added by us, and eventually others too, which hopefully will make the site more dynamic and enable it to grow more than it has already.

As we add pages to the main site we will add a part of, or a shortened version here, with a link to the new page or section included.

The beauty of the new Blogger format is that you can be updated automatically when content is added. How is this done, through the "Atom" subscription that you see on the pages here. Simply click the subscribe to posts, and most modern browsers such as IE7 will automatically create a link on your "subscribed feeds" list. To check whether there is is new content simply look at that from time to time or set the feed reader to inform you after it has checked the feed automatically....and you are constantly and always updated about new content on Seekers website.

We have plans to add more articles over the next few months and will use this weblog to inform people of news, and other things of note relating to Seekers.

For those who would rather receive their feeds via a separate piece of software there are many Rss and Atom Newsfeed readers available from various places, all of which can be downloaded for free from the web. One I particularly like is Feedreader. Feedreader can be downloaded from here.

To find out a little more about News Feed Readers, or aggregators as they are also known.. click HERE or HERE.