Learning to Kneel..again

Submissives find many and varied ways to express submission, although one of the most common seems to be that of kneeling before a Dominant. This simple act places the sub at a lower level than the Dominant and represents her being controlled and dominated by Him, by the very nature of their relative physical positions.

When my cleo had her stroke in November 2005, one of the long-term effects was what is known as hemiplegia. "Whats that?" you ask. Hemiplegia is a condition where a vertical half of a patient's body is weak or paralysed, i.e. one arm and its corresponding leg do not function properly. In cleo's case this has resulted in virtually no function at all remaining in her left arm and hand, and just a little in her left leg. She can walk a little, although she is very unstable, but has had to adapt to using one arm/hand as she has no voluntary control in her left arm at all. Her balance is not too good at all, and as soon as she turns, or leans, or bends away from an upright position that loss of balance is all too obvious.

Now, one of the things which had become almost a daily ritual for us before the stroke was that cleo would invariably kneel for me, usually before we retired in the evening. We spent many long hours like that, discussing our D/s, our plans and our hopes for the future.

It was one of those actions which I know gave cleo a way to fulfill her need to demonstrate her submission to me. It was a natural and comfortable position for both of us. Since the stroke and because of her physical challenges as a result kneeling has been virtually impossible. We have tried to find alternative ways to express submission for cleo but none that we have tried gives her the same satisfaction as the act of kneeling.

Of late as her balance has improved slightly, and she has a little more control in her left leg, she has managed to find a way to get back on her knees again, if only for very short periods of time. I know that there is nothing else which comes close to the act of kneeling for cleo at least, that enables her to express her submission in such a tangible way. From the kneeling we may be able to move to other more "physical" things, such as cleo going over the knee or some kind of mild spanking. The physical closeness which kneeling creates becomes a springboard for those other actions to follow naturally, although of course with great care.

So, perhaps we can return to that most fulfilling of submissive expression again, by allowing cleo to get back to kneeling before bed again.

Perhaps it's the first (or next?) step in our regaining of the more physical side of the relationship we had. Recovery from stroke is by definition a long and very slow process and sometimes we have to look for a way to measure that, because living with the challenges every day, one does not always see those improvements. Sometimes you really have to look hard, or you miss them entirely.